Friday, May 21, 2010

His plan, His way, in His time

Have you ever thought you were sure of the way God was leading? You made plans and began to daydream and then -- Wham! -- the door slammed, and your dreams were dashed?

Back in 1995 I had that experience. I was sure God had led Jeff and I together. I had prayed (and prayed and prayed) and not manipulated the situation (for once). And I watched Him bring us together. And then, one day, it was over.

I was devastated! I was happy in one way; he and his wife were trying to reconcile. I knew this was the very best thing for his family, but for me, it was a great loss. But the bigger issue was, how can I be sure I even hear God? I had been so sure - and so wrong. It was the first time I really doubted my faith.

Well, five months later, the circumstances changed. We got back together and were married five months after that. God had been clear in His direction to me. I had heard Him. It's just that the timing wasn't what I had planned.

Right now, I'm feeling the same way. I was so sure He whispered something in my ear last fall. Now it seems like completely off the radar. But having gone through this before, my hopes aren't completely shattered...

Psalm 1:6 says: "The Lord knows the way of the righteous." He knows! He knows! What about you? Have you experienced something like this before? You were so sure and then - nothing. But then something(!!!) ~ in His time.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I only wanna be with You

Last week I went to Seattle. Thursday I taught Redesign Your HomeMaking at Evergreen Community Church in Bothell. What a welcoming bunch of ladies. Thanks to Amy and Jen for inviting me!! Then my friend Dawn and I went to Bellevue Square. Wow! Loved it! Loved Crate and Barrel (didn't buy anything), The Container Store (bought a tea holder), Fireworks (bought a travel bag), and the tea shop. (Funny ~ I'm not that big of a tea drinker, but it was good!) AND I loved the giant Chihuly glass sculpture hanging from the ceiling!!

Friday and Saturday I went the Northwest Christian Writers Renewal. It was my fourth year attending and my first year teaching. I met some wonderful people, hugged old friends, and learned a bit more about writing ~ and Jesus. And then I came home.

I came home... and faced the same old struggle: Do I try to "go for it" ~ pursue greater heights of writing and speaking ~ or do I simply worship Jesus and just follow Him, day by day, and pursue Him? This time, finally, the answer came much faster than ever before. In just a few hours, not a few days -- or weeks.

Here's the thing: I love pursuing Jesus more than I love pursuing ministry. Don't get me wrong. Ministry is the second commandment. I want to carry it out. I want to develop and use the gifts God has given me to love and serve my family, my church, my community, and my world. But I don't want it to get in the way of the first commandment: loving God with all...

My love relationship with Jesus is all that matters. And He tells me what to do -- when to "go for it" and when to wait on Him. I'm still tired -- so tired -- so maybe this post isn't profound or even for anyone but me. But I wanted to share it with you today.